It's so hot that...· the birds have to use potholders to pull...

It's so hot that...

· the birds have to use potholders to pull worms out of the ground.

· the potatoes cook underground, and all you have to do to have lunch is to pull one out and add butter, salt and pepper.

· farmers are feeding their chickens crushed ice to keep them from laying hard-boiled eggs.

· the cows are giving evaporated milk.

· the trees are whistling for the dogs.

· you eat hot chilies to cool your mouth off.

· you learn that a seat belt makes a pretty good branding iron.

· you've experienced condensation on your butt from the hot water in the toilet bowl.

· you would give anything to be able to splash cold water on your face.

· you can attend any function wearing shorts and a tank top.

· The 4 seasons are: tolerable, hot, really hot, and ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

· you discover that it takes only 2 fingers to drive your car.

· you discover that you can get a sunburn through your car window.

· you notice the best parking place is determined by shade instead of distance.

· hot water now comes out of both taps.

· kids are on summer vacation, and not one person is out on the streets.

· you actually burn your hand opening the car door.

· you break a sweat the instant you step outside at 7:30 a.m. before work.

· your biggest bicycle wreck fear is, "What if I get knocked out and end up lying on the pavement and cook to death?"

· you realize that asphalt has a liquid state.