Half way through eating my baked beans on toast tonight I get a...

Half way through eating my baked beans on toast tonight I get a phone call….mobile number, so I think better take it, might be work related…..there’s a bit of a pause, then this really helpful Indian gent informs me that my computer has been hacked and he’s called to help me fix it…..must’ve been my lucky day, imagine if I hadn’t known about this, all sorts of problems could’ve arisen. Anyway, while I’m going through the steps to give him remote access to my computer I realise I’ve completely forgotten my system login details. Thankfully, he informed me that my bank account login details would work and I just had to recite them to him over the phone and he’ll fix everything from his end….man, what a relief, crisis averted. Funny thing is, while on the phone I swear I could hear Apu from the Simpsons in the background….. I couldn’t quite make out exactly what he was saying but I did get bits and pieces “already 99.99% de risked…..north of $1…..only donkeys selling….we already have the D…..$4-$5 soon”. I’m not sure what it was all about but I just thought it was really cool that Apu was there….