I feel as though a pistol duel at noon may be the only path left...

I feel as though a pistol duel at noon may be the only path left for CI and Brent, sadly.
I will make preparations, you will both practise with water pistols in your own time until I can get a couple of revolvers and organise a time / place that works for all the members here.

it sounds like a great idea, but I already know how it will end. CI and Brent will turn up, the clock will almost strike 12 and I will come out running with tears streaming down my face, wearing a beautiful hand made mid century dress, and stand between those two angry boys and insist that no one is dying today.
It will end with everyone coming back to my farm for scones and jam while we laugh and cry about how much we love IVZ.