[Brian is writing graffiti on the palace wall. The Centurion...

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    [Brian is writing graffiti on the palace wall. The Centurion catches him in the act]
    Centurion: What's this, then? "Romanes eunt domus"? People called Romanes, they go, the house?
    Brian: It says, "Romans go home. "
    Centurion: No it doesn't ! What's the latin for "Roman"? Come on, come on !
    Brian: Er, "Romanus" !
    Centurion: Vocative plural of "Romanus" is?
    Brian: Er, er, "Romani" !
    Centurion: [Writes "Romani" over Brian's graffiti] "Eunt"? What is "eunt"? Conjugate the verb, "to go" !
    Brian: Er, "Ire". Er, "eo", "is", "it", "imus", "itis", "eunt".
    Centurion: So, "eunt" is...?
    Brian: Third person plural present indicative, "they go".
    Centurion: But, "Romans, go home" is an order. So you must use...?
    [He twists Brian's ear]
    Brian: Aaagh ! The imperative !
    Centurion: Which is...?
    Brian: Aaaagh ! Er, er, "i" !
    Centurion: How many Romans?
    Brian: Aaaaagh ! Plural, plural, er, "ite" !
    Centurion: [Writes "ite"] "Domus"? Nominative? "Go home" is motion towards, isn't it?
    Brian: Dative !
    [the Centurion holds a sword to his throat]
    Brian: Aaagh ! Not the dative, not the dative ! Er, er, accusative, "Domum" !
    Centurion: But "Domus" takes the locative, which is...?
    Brian: Er, "Domum" !
    Centurion: [Writes "Domum"] Understand? Now, write it out a hundred times.
    Brian: Yes sir. Thank you, sir. Hail Caesar, sir.
    Centurion: Hail Caesar ! And if it's not done by sunrise, I'll cut your balls off.
 
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