I have only just seen your thread Macrae- I think you sound as...

I have only just seen your thread Macrae- I think you sound as though you were in shock when you were writing the first few messages...
- have you considered critical incident counselling ?? Incidents such as these can result in Post Traumatic Stress Disorder - when you start thinking about the "what might have happened" situations. It tends to mess with your equilibrium and mental well-being- all of which can be helped with earlY intervention, counselling and rationalisation IN YOUR MIND of your feelings about what you saw. YOU NEED TO EXTERNALISE ALL YOUR FEELINGS ABOUT WHAT YOU SAW EG HORROR, SHOCK, DISMAY, ANGER, ACCEPTANCE OR DENIAL OF WHAT YOU COULD DO, DID DO, COULD NOT DO ETC.SO THAT IT DOESN'T BECOME A REPLAYING HORROR MOVIE IN YOUR HEAD EVERY TIME YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES OR EVEN WHEN YOU DON'T.
Not everyone who witnesses an incident such as this is scarred forever, but for your own peace of mind, either talk it out with a wise friend or better yet get some counselling from a professional psychologist who deals in crtical incident counselling. Accepting help, by the way, is a sign of strength and intelligence, NOT weakness.
Take care of yourself, you were able to take care of someone else, so now be strong for yourself and talk to someone.
Critcal incidents can cause us to experience a type of grieving ( our loss of illusions about our safety etc ) which we are not taught about in school or later. It is better to get help to deal with it sooner, rather than later.
Thank you for being a good samaritan. Be proud of yourself, and please talk it through with someone. Writing the whole thing down can be cathartic- will also provide a comprehensive history if charges are brought later and you need to provide a witness statement.

best wishes
from poppi