Hey guys. Big boys DO sometimes cry- if they are allowed to...

Hey guys. Big boys DO sometimes cry- if they are allowed to break free from the emotional tyranny of masculinity. Boys are taught to keep silent. Bottle their anger. Conceal their grief.
Society says, "Be a man. Don't cry. Show nothing. Keep it all on the inside."
This is a sad and telling indictment on our society –and an attitude which I hope and believe is changing.
I was not suggesting a lack of anything nor any indication of weakness when I suggested counselling.. In fact I made considerable effort to advise that seeking counseling was, in fact, the wise and strong thing to do when one has been confronted by an experience of such ghastliness.
Do you imagine that SAS soldiers never debrief – of course they do- and I think it would take a very brave man or a fool to suggest that they were weak or needy. Do bank staff get critical incident counselling after a hold-up? You betcha.
You see we have learned that people who have experienced “ a major salient and powerful happening- a psychologically traumatic event that is generally outside the range of usual experience” can be adversely affected and may need help in processing and rationalising that experience into their psychological schema.
For example, when a nice, peaceable person
• witnesses an act of extreme violence in a public place
• and becomes aware that nobody is acting to assist the victim of the assault
• he intervenes thereby putting himself at risk

He may be fine after the event if he “deals with his concerns” eg by sharing with his mates on HC.
Sometimes though, that hypothetical person may experience difficulties, such as:
• difficulty concentrating
• anxierty
• depression
• flash-backs
• disturbed sleep
• other signs of psychological disturbance.
and that is the time to seek help.
Real men DO feel and are not ashamed to show their feelings. It is the sign of a fully integrated human being to be able to share thoughts, feelings and emotions.
Well done Macrae, you acted like a Champion. Now make sure you look after yourself too.
poppi