Twelve ways to save the Ashes * Play French cricket instead * Blindfold all Australian batsmen * Give England 20 fielders with baseball gloves * Allow the Poms to pick any Australian backpacker in London * Sack England and play Scotland and Guernsey in alternating series * Restrict Australia to one innings * Give England bowlers six stumps to aim at * One hand one bounce for England, tip and run for Australia * Restrict Glenn McGrath to underarm * Australia to field for England * Australia to bowl for England * Australia to bat for England
