Interviewer: "So, as a regulator, do you think you have failed...

Interviewer: "So, as a regulator, do you think you have failed in the cases of Henry Kaye, Westpoint, Opes Prime, Lift Capital, and so on?"

Regulator: "Hey, do I look like I care? I'm a public servant. I can rock up in the morning, read the paper all day and retire after 40 years with a big pension. What do I care about the jobs I'm actually supposed to do?"

Interviewer: "But, surely you should have done something about what was happening? You should have know something odd was going on?"

Regulator: "What, after drinking the case of scotch they sent me to butter us up and smooth the path for their approvals? You've got to be joking! Have you just come from Sunday School, or something?"

Interviewer: "But, this is the 21st Century! Surely, things have changed?"

Regulator: "Of course not! We're public servants. Surely you realize by now that every descriptive title ever invented by the public sector means exactly the opposite? So, 'public servant', really means that the public serves us and our agendas. We don't actually do much, but we make sure it costs your an absolute bomb for us to do it!"

Interviewer: "I'd like to shoot you, I think."

Regulator: "Fantastic! Now, I can go on stress leave at full pay for the next 20 years. Thank you! I've been waiting for this since I joined the service three weeks ago!"