Nice work of late farmerblue. I appreciate your efforts...
I few more Johnny's to group them together. Some of the cleaner one's i can put up anyway!
One evening, as Uncle Dave and his wife are entertaining guests with cocktails, they are interrupted by an out-of-breath Little Johnny who shouts out, "Uncle Dave! Come quick! The bull is rooting the cow!"
Uncle Dave, highly embarrassed, takes young Johnny aside and explains that a certain decorum is required. "You should have said, "The bull is surprising the cow" - not some filth you picked up in the City," he says.
A few days later, Johnny comes in again as his uncle and aunt are entertaining. "Uncle Dave! The bull is surprising the cows!"
The adults share a knowing grin. Uncle Dave says, "Thank you Johnny, but surely you meant to say the cow, not *cows*. A bull cannot 'surprise' more than one cow at a time you know...".
"Yes he can!" replies his obstinate nephew, "He's rooting the horse!"
A teacher asks the class to name things that end with 'tor' that eat things. The first little boy says, "Alligator." "Very good, that's a big word."
The second boy says, "Predator." "Yes, that's another big word. Well done."
Little Johnny says, "Vibrator, Miss." After nearly falling off her chair, she says, "That is a big word, but it doesn't eat anything."
"Well my sister has one and she says it eats batteries like there's no tomorrow!"
Little Johnny comes down to breakfast. Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.
"Not yet," said Little Johnny.
His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores. Well, he's a little peeved off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs and he kicks a pig.
He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.
"How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?" he asks.
"Well," his mother says, "I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk."
Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.
Little Johnny looks up at his mother with a smile, and says: "Are you going to tell him, or should I?"
A woman goes into her local music store looking for an old record; behind the counter is small young boy.
She says: "Excuse me sonny, but do you have Jingle Bells on a 7 inch?"
He says: "No, but I've got dangling balls on a 9 inch."
"That's not a record is it?"
"It is for a 10 year old."
The teacher asked little Johnny if he knew his numbers yet. "Yes, teacher," he said, "my dad taught me."
"Good, Johnny. Tell me what comes after two," the teacher said. "Three," replied little Johnny.
"Very good. What comes after five, Johnny?" asked the teacher. "Six," answered little Johnny.
"Excellent. Your dad did a very good job. Now, what comes after ten?" the teacher asked.
