lonely-hearts column of Scottish newspapers
These are "REAL ADS" copied from the
lonely-hearts column of Scottish newspapers...
Grossly overweight Bucky turf-cutter, 42 years old and 23
stone, Gemini, seeks nimble sexpot, preferably South
American, for tango sessions, candlelit dinners and humid
nights of screaming passion. Must have own car and be
willing to travel. Box 09/08
Aberdeen man, 50, in desperate need of a ride. Anything
considered. Box 06/03
Heavy drinker, 35, Glasgow area, seeks gorgeous sex
addict interested in pints, fags, Celtic football club and
starting scraps on Sauchiehall Street at three in the
morning. Box 73/82 .
Bitter, disillusioned Dundonian (was this you Jack?) lately
rejected by longtime fiance seeks decent, honest, reliable
woman, if such a thing still exists in this cruel world of
hatchet-faced bitches. Box 40/41
Ginger-haired Paisley troublemaker, gets slit-eyed and
shirty after a few scoops, seeks attractive, wealthy lady
for bail purposes, maybe more Box 84/87
Artistic Edinburgh woman, 53, petite, loves rainy walks on
the beach, writing poetry, unusual sea-shells and
interesting brown rice dishes, seeks mystic dreamer for
companionship, back rubs and more as we bounce along like
little tumbling clouds o
n life's beautiful crazy
journey. Strong stomach essential Box 12/32
Chartered accountant, 42, seeks female for marriage. Duties
will include cooking, light cleaning and accompanying me to
office social functions. References required. No
timewasters. Box 3/45
Bad-tempered, foul-mouthed old bastard living in a damp
cottage in the arse end of Orkney seeks attractive 21-year
old blonde lady with big chest. Box 40/27
Devil-worshiper, Stirling area, seeks like-minded lady
for wining and dining, good conversation, dancing, romantic
walks and slaughtering dogs in cemeteries at midnight under
the flinty light of a pale moon. Box 52/07
Attractive brunette, Maryhill area, winner of Miss Wrangler
competition at Frampton's Nightclub, Maryhill, in
September 1978, seeks nostalgic man who's not afraid to
cry, for long nights spent comfort-drinking and listening to
old Abba records. Please, Please! Box 30/41
Govan man, 27, medium build, brown hair, blue eyes, seeks
alibi for the night of February 27
between 8pm and 11.30pm Box 16/88
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