lvl and pfizer joint venture

From :
Roger Soles, 'Europes New Economist' :

Pfizer would not comment today on the rumoured joint venture with LVL.

It's understood that Pfizer is to offer unlimited supplies of free viagra to LVL in return for the positive publicity that would result.

The CEO's of both companies have in the past stated that such a joint venture would not only help the share price (amongst other things) of LVL to rise but would please the customers and shareholders of both companies.

Our analyst, Roger Soles, says that LVL would benefit enormously by making free sex available 24/7 as 'part and parcel' of all customer contracts.

Roger noted that Pfizer would benefit from the huge publicity gained from all the gleeful, happy smiling wheelchair and zimmer racing over 80's on their local seafront promenades. Once people saw the reactions from all these very excited people, then the everyday Jo Bloggs and his lady friend would no longer fear the wonders of the viagra.

The current talks re LVL and RRS forming a joint venture have been terminated. It was believed that such a joint venture would not only reduce overheads for both companies but could initially cause their respective share prices to rise, thus allowing those in the know to jump ship and regain some credibilty with their bankers.

An observer mentioned that if the ASX suspected anything abnormal, directors could be prosecuted and finish up in prison. The possiblity of sharing a prison cell with either Rodney Adler or Brad Cooper was the reason for calling off the talks.

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