Ethel’s Wheelchair Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her and some of the males actually joined in. One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and ‘Mad Harry’ stepped out with his arm outstretched. “Stop!” he shouted in a firm voice. “Have you got a licence for that thing?” Ethel fished around in her handbag, pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it out for him. “OK” he said and away Ethel sped down the hall. As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, ‘Weird Ron’ popped out in front of her and shouted “Stop!” Have you got proof of insurance?” Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drinks mat and held it up to him. Ron nodded and said, “Carry on ma’am!” As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, ‘Crazy Craig’, stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizeable erection in his hand. “Oh God!” said Ethel, “not the breathalyser again!”
