For all of you who are having trouble with the stock market these days, here is a little something to help you put things in perspective.
Bull Market -- A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius.
Bear Market -- A 6 to 18-month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.
Momentum Investing -- The fine art of buying high and selling low.
Value Investing -- The art of buying low and selling lower.
P/E Ratio -- The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.
Broker -- What my broker has made me.
Buy, buy -- A flight attendant making market recommendations as you step off the plane.
Standard & Poor -- Your life in a nutshell.
Stock Analyst -- Idiot who just downgraded your stock.
Stock Split -- When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.
Financial Planner -- A guy who actually remembers his wallet when he runs to the 7-Eleven for toilet paper and cigarettes.
Market Correction -- The day after you buy stocks.
Cash Flow -- The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.
Yahoo -- What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.
Windows 2000 -- What you jump out of when you're the sucker that bought Yahoo at $240 per share.
Institutional Investor -- Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.
Profit -- Religious guy who talks to God
- Forums
- Humour
- market lingo
For all of you who are having trouble with the stock market...
Featured News
Featured News
The Watchlist
RAC
RACE ONCOLOGY LTD
Dr Pete Smith, Executive Chairman
Dr Pete Smith
Executive Chairman
SPONSORED BY The Market Online