Initially I was quite baffled as to how the name Diophantus translated as it didn’t quite make sense in an Ancient Greecian context. In fact it was quite incoherent apart from modern day interpretations which are based empirically on symbolism and which I believe is – frankly a flawed methodology.
Then one night while checking out internet porn the answer hit me like a sledge hammer ! Of course – The ancient Greeks based much of their language from ancients that preceded them, in this case the Nihaoon’s (Nee-Ha-Oons) – a culture largely ignored by modern historians.
Even so after many hours of studying the limited ancient Nihaoon texts available, I was still no closer to a suitable interpretation which matched my expectations.
The penny dropped when I realised we weren’t just looking at Diophantus himself but his son.
This was the final piece of the puzzle and it fits perfectly.
To begin the translation let us break down the words “Son of Diophantus” into their individual Nihaoo components:
Son of: This man has
Di: Two
O: Very large nads
Phan – and
Tus – enormous penis
Thus it is my assertion that the Son of Diophantus probably wouldn’t have copped too much flack at school.
