This is Mr Lincoln Augustus, first second cousin of Holymagimon....

This is Mr Lincoln Augustus, first second cousin of Holymagimon.
The brobros will not be on the boat today as it is somebody or others wedding day and we have to be delivering the packet of Jamicca Numba One Blen and be joining in the festivities. For sure there be the Red Stripes and the curry goat and lots of ackee and salt-fish and dumplings.

Something to look forward to as we sit this cool morning eating the peg bread and chappati with the chicken curry. Watching the waves washing in and out and in and out, washing over the cold bottles of Red Stripe buried in the sand, smoking the smoke of the Extra Spejil Jamicca Blue Star Numba One.

Uncle Remus be up, Uncle Tobias be up, Alvin the Idiot and Holymagimon are of course up, and Baboo Runchik has stopped by on his daily coal delivery, to be up with us. And of course the good Reverend Moshe Goldblum, who smokes the smoke of the Numba One and walks the walk of the truly righteous, for he has the cell-phone to heaven, and that be a fact.  And Miss BeeBee Daniels and her number two neighbour Missy Fernie Gladstone be also here, so all is well.

So the sun be up, the clock be hitting 8 am in the morning and we are whiling away the time, sitting on the shore, waiting, waiting, waiting and killing time till we see de mon who is to be wedded truly wedded, with no way out except in the happiness of marriage or the salvation of the Numba One, whichever way the loaded dices be falling for him and the good Lord decrees.

And we have been smoking the excellent Extra Spejil Jamicca Blue Star Numba One and excelling in its mysteries and Uncle Tobias has brought up the topic of the Edencrete, the good Lord bless his soul.

Alvin the Idiot has just been reading the Hot Cropper on the brand newly refurbished Commandee 64 with the coloured screen and been most impressed by all de technical knowledge and educations that he has been reading about concrete.

Of course, if we could admit, Holymagimon has also gone into the concrete business in some little with the additive of the Jamicca Numba One Turd Grade into Mr Mustaffa Kakaram’s concrete when he accidentally dropped a packet on to the concrete of the newly laid pavement into the plantation some three years ago.  We are very pleased with the pavement, has lasted 3 years without  a crack and the interesting thing is that that Jamicca Numba One Turd Grade additive has been having the lateral expansile properties.

So Mr Mustaffa Kakaram laid a road that was 15 feet across 3 years ago and now that the concrete has set and expanded, we have a road which is 30 feet across and still very good, no cracks, no nothing, pretty as the new born babies bottom wit never a wrinkle to be seen.

Been lots of fine foks coming along looking at that road, admiring it no end, till they reach the end and see Holymagimon’s little shop all stocked up with the things that make up a life worth living. So all them fine foks drive the drive and walk the walk and end up smoking the smoke and all be good in life.

We have been away catching the fish for some little time, the shrimpies and the wahoo in Holymagimon’s new boat and we can most assuredly inform you that nothing beats lying around, drifting on the waves with the Red Stripe in the one hand and the Jamicca Numba One in the other, watching the smoke do the walking and the strange talking as it swirls into the sky in a rhythm to the rocking waves.

But back to now and where we are, and Alvin has just been puzzled with the comings and the goings in the Hot Cropper. Especially about why the Markymon been led to the splits, Alvin be wondering his Idiot thoughts. And all the family be wondering too, what been happening to the friendliness and the harmony while the family been working the seas and seeing the skies.

And Uncle Remus has done the quick reading of all the news in the Commodore 64 and is summarising what he thinks be happening.

It would appear that the Tasman site be taken up by one very smart brobro who be trading the Eden and the Tasman everyday inside out and filling up all the spaces about how very clever he be in making the smart trade here and there to be getting the freebies of the Eden.

And Baboo be asking if the bro be reaching the significant shareholder status yet, but Alvin the Idiot be thinking that that bro nearly be there because him been filling the pages and pages and pages of Tasman with all the news of all the very smart trades him be making, bless his sole.  Uncle Tobias has added that we must be treating this bro with the greatest respect for he be a company director and a factory manager in the whaling station and has been sailing around with Mister Hudson Fysh, and that be a very important VIP bro to us humble Jamicans.  Nearest we been to such high people be when the Queen of England and London and Bukkingham Palace flew over us one day and we all stood in the sun and waved the Union Jakes for three or four hours in case she did not see the first time.

But being company director and knowing Mr Fysh and owner of Tourist Air Travel in New Zeeland is most impressive and we have very great respect for the brobros like this and looking forward to them becoming significant shareholders in Eden and Tasman by most masterful arbitrary trading. We be very proud to be reading all about this gentleman and how clever he be, and it be looking like we be telling all our friends and Miss Millie Pippeewee also to be reading this site and be most impressed when she is not otherwise occupied.

And this bro must be most learned, be telling us all how the Tasman going to be digging the wasted holes with the Eden money and be keeping all the dividends and that the Tasman share not worth anything even though the Board be telling us different thing. Don’t know where he be getting all this inside information but Baboo be telling us we must be paying attention to de mon who soon becoming the most significant shareholder in Eden, no problem about that, maybe even be making the overtake of all of the Eden.

This bro be telling us all the fine tales about Mr Greg, and him be seeming to be having even more wisdom than Solomon.  That be the view of Reverend Moshe Goldblum, and who to be arguing with the divine servant of the Lord?  So all is good and the family be looking forward to reading of all the clever trades of this bro and soon we be writing and publishing the best selling New York Times Numba One book from all the extracts.

Holymagimon be thinking maybe we be calling this book “Crossdressing in Eden – a blow by blow account” and the family looking forward to be publishing soon.  Maybe the clever famous bro be possibly be giving us the introduction to the president of the Random House and the forward revenue for the $500,000 pre-publication rights?

Lots of other fine gentlemen on the sites with lots of fine quotations.

Like the quotation “MB, he needs HC more than anything else and will be back like he done 3 times in the past, even the amount of logins to HC since his last post are off the charts.”

Cecil Sneidermann, the lawyermon from Trenchtown has just popped in, possibly the smell of the Jamicca Numba One and chicken curry drew him to the beach this morning, or maybe he is just going home, who knows.  He used to be working in the Tax Office here and somehow got by for many years, but he fell a bit short of the big eye in the sky when he opened up the Tax files of the police chief when he shouldn’t have. That is a story in itself and we should be moving to the wedding soon, so we will keep that for some other times.  

But it brought up a very interesting point of law about access and confidentiality, and we were wondering  if the same strict high qualities that undid Cecil in the tax office apply to the moderators of Hot Cropper, or if they are allowed to track and follow posters for whatever reason, be it a reasonable reason or an unreasonable one.

Such thoughts, such wonderings, such questions, so much to know and appreciate about life and living by us simple foks, under the gentle persuasion of the Jamicca Numba One.  For, as the Bible says:

Matthew 7:1-5 New International Version (NIV)
Judging Others
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. ² For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.”

The family feels that perhaps some humble apologies to de Markymon from those whom it would be apparent need to apologise would not be out of place and perhaps then there will be peace and goodwill to all in these sites after that, with less of the present low grade sniping and ego tripping, so that everybody including the Markymon and the Nurserymon and the Rominzmon can live in a symbiotic, helpful and peaceful coexistence with the gainful sharing of constructive thoughts.

And then, the two shares of the family can eventually grow to become four, under the divine blessing of the Reverend Moshe Goldblum, first pastor of the Unity Church of the Children of the Lord.

Blessing of the Lord and may the great piss from above be always be falling on the heads of all the brobro and sistaladymons.

Mr Lincoln Augustus, PhD (Phil), B Lit, LLB, Associated Professor, Poet Laurate