As we wait on the Brexit vote,
some thoughts on the difficulties in bringing the world together.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
* You have 2 cows.
* You sell 1 and buy a bull.
* Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
* You sell them and retire on the income.
AMERICAN CAPITALISM
* You have 2 cows.
* You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax exemption for 5 cows. The milk rights of the 6 cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all 7 cows back to your listed company. The annual report says the company owns 8 cows, with an option on 1 more. Sell 1 cow to buy influence with a new president of the United States, leaving you with 9 cows. No balance sheet provided with the release. The public buys your bull.
FRENCH CAPITALISM
* You have 2 cows.
* You go on strike because you want 3 cows.
JAPANESE CAPITALISM
* You have 2 cows.
* You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce 20 times the milk.
* You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them worldwide.
GERMAN CAPITALISM
* You have 2 cows.
* You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.
BRITISH CAPITALISM
* You have 2 cows.
* Both are mad.
ITALIAN CAPITALISM
* You have 2 cows, but you don’t know where they are.
* You break for lunch.
SWISS CAPITALISM
* You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
* You charge others for storing them.
CHINESE CAPITALISM
* You have 2 cows.
* You have 300 people milking them.
* You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.
NEW ZEALAND CAPITALISM
* You have 2 cows.
* That one on the left is kinda cute…
All the best out there today!!
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