Murphy's Law

MURPHY’S LAW
NO GOOD DEED GOES UNPUNISHED.
LEAKPROOF SEALS - WILL.
SELF STARTERS - WON'T.
INTERCHANGEABLE PARTS - WON'T.
THERE IS ALWAYS ONE MORE BUG.
NATURE IS A MOTHER.
DON'T MESS WITH MRS. MURPHY!
90% OF EVERYTHING IS CRUD.
IF YOU'RE FEELING GOOD, DON'T WORRY, YOU'LL GET OVERIT.
ANYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG, WILL GO WRONG.
ALL WARRANTIES EXPIRE UPON PAYMENT OF INVOICE.
WHERE YOU STAND ON AN ISSUE DEPENDS ON WHERE YOU SIT.
NEVER EAT PRUNES WHEN YOU ARE FAMISHED.
FRIENDS COME AND GO, BUT ENEMIES ACCUMULATE.
IF YOU TRY TO PLEASE EVERYBODY, NOBODY WILL LIKE IT.
A SHORT CUT IS THE LONGEST DISTANCE BETWEEN TWO POINTS.
YOU WILL ALWAYS FIND SOMETHING IN THE LAST PLACE YOULOOK.
THE CHANCE OF A PIECE OF BREAD FALLING WITH THE BUTTEREDSIDE DOWN IS-DIRECTLY PROPORT1ONAL TO THE COST OF THE CARPET
NO MATTER-HOW LONG OR HARD YOU SHOP FOR AN ITEM,AFTER YOU'VE BOUGHT IT, IT WILL BE ON SALE SOMEWHERE CHEAPER.
NO ONE'S LIFE, LIBERTY, OR PROPERTY ARE SAFE WHILE THE LEGISLATUREIS IN SESSION.
THE OTHER LINE ALWAYS MOVES FASTER.
IN ORDER TO GET A LOAN, YOU MUST FIRST PROVE YOU DON'TNEED IT.
ANYTHING YOU TRY TO FIX WILL TAKE LONGER AND COST MORETHAN YOU THOUGHT.
IF YOU FOOL AROUND WITH A THING FOR VERY LONG YOU WILLSCREW IT UP.
A$300.00 PICTURE TUBE WILL PROTECT A 10c FUSE BYBLOWING FIRST.
IT JAMS - FORCE IT, IF IT BREAKS, IT NEEDED REPLACIINGANYWAY. .
ANY TOOL DROPPED WHILE REPAIRING A CAR WILL ROLLUNDERNEATH TO THE EXACT CENTER.
THE REPAIRMAN WILL NEVER HAVE SEEN A MODEL QUITE LIKEYOURS BEFORE.
WHEN A BROKEN APPLIANCE IS DEMONSTRATED FOR THEREPAIRMAN, IT WILL WORK PERFECTLY.
A PIPE GIVES A WISE MAN TIME TO THINK AND A FOOLSOMETHING TO STICK IN HIS MOUTH.
EVERYBODY SHOULD BELIEVE IN SOMETHING - I BELIEVE I'LLHAVE ANOTHER DRINK.
BUILD A SYSTEM THAT EVEN A FOOL CAN USE, AND ONLY AFOOL WILL USE IT.
EVERYONE HAS A SCHEME FOR GETTING RICH THAT WILL NOTWORK.
IN ANY HIERARCHY, EACH INDIVIDUAL RISES TO HIS OWNLEVEL OF INCOMPETENCE, AND THEN REMAINS
THERE
YOU WILL REMEMBER THAT YOU FORGOT TO TAKE OUT THE TRASHWHEN THE GARBAGE TRUCK IS TWO DOORS AWAY
THE RACE IS NOT ALWAYS TO THE SWIFT NOR THE BATTLE TOTHE STRONG, BUT THAT'S THE WAY TO BET,
THERE'S NEVER TIME TO DO IT RIGHT, BUT THERE'S ALWAYSTIME TO DO IT OVER.
WHEN IN DOUBT, MUMBLE, WHEN IN TROUBLE, DELEGATE.
ANYTHING GOOD IN LIFE IS EITHER ILLEGAL IMMORAL ORFATTENING.
IT IS MORALLY WRONG TO ALLOW SUCKERS TO KEEP THEIRMONEY.
A BIRD IN THE HAND IS SAFER THAN ONE OVERHEAD.
MURPHY'S GOLDEN RULE: WHOEVER HAS THE GOLD MAKES THERULES.
EVERYTHING EAST OF THE SAN ANDREAS FAULT WILLEVENTUALLY PLUNGE INTO THE ATLANTIC OCEAN.
NATURE ALWAYS SIDES WITH THE HIDDEN FLAW.
THE LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL IS THE HEADLAMP OFAN ONCOMING TRAIN.
CELIBACY IS NOT HEREDITARY.
NEVER SLEEP WITH ANYONE CRAZIER THAN YOURSELF.
BEAUTY IS ONLY SKIN DEEP, UGLY GOES TO THE BONE.
TO KNOW YOURSELF IS THE ULTIMATE FORM OF AGGRESSION.(FREUDIAN PSYCHOLOGY)
NEVER PLAY LEAPFROG WITH A UNICORN.
A SMITH & WESSON BEATS FOUR ACES.
IF EVERYTHING SEEMS TO BE GOING WELL, YOU OBVIOUSLYDON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON.
IF MORE THAN ONE PERSON IS REPONSIBLE FOR AMISCALCULATION, NO ONE WILL BE AT FAULT.
IN CASE OF DOUBT, MAKE IT SOUND CONVINCING.
NEVER ARGUE WITH A FOOL, PEOPLE MIGHT NOT KNOW THEDIFFERENCE.