music to your ears?, page-6

To help us understand our fate better the great unwashed and ignorant masses of NSW demand from the NSW govt a series of dumbed-down educational TV ads. This demand is non-negotiable & non-violent.

By doing this the BOF govt will accept that it alone and not the gas industry, or industry generally, is ultimately responsible for this impending NSW economic and social calamity. BOF will show, by starring in these ads, he takes personal responsibility for the continuing stuff up.

Ad begins:

The scene: A suburban lounge room. BOF is on the telly doing back flips. A newspaper with him photographed smiling approvingly at Julia Gillard is on a cushion. Posters of Chris Hartcher, Tony Abbott and Peter Henderson covered in painted on horns with flames coming out of their orifices and pierced with darts and arrows are on the walls. A tattered copy of Metgasco's Annual Report has been flung into the empty fire place. Something dubious, soft and wet, is on his chair.

Scene 1: BOF comes in through the front door of his house and takes off his coat. He is wearing the familiar cardigan. He is about to sink into his chair but begins to shiver. (get the metaphor: he avoids sinking into deep ...) He switches on the instantly warm and cosy - unaffordable to most of us - gas-fired ducted central heating. NOTHING!

Scene 2: we are in the kitchen. We see BOF now wearing a dog-fur coat (something sentimental like a labrador) - get the clumsy canine metaphor? - about to cook his sausage dinner on the cook top. For added visual effect the 'snags' are still frozen and clang on his plate. He turns on the gas and stabs at the ignition button. Again - NOTHING!

Scene 3: early morning shot of BOF pulling on 3 cardigans and his dog-fur coat and then queuing at the bus stop for the gas powered bus to Macquarie Street. And again NOTHING! Flash-pic of queue muttering dire threats.

Scene 4: camera shots of both sides of politics shivering on the front & back benches of the Parliament.

Scene 5: chanting "no coal seam gas" a feral Greenie and a Knitting Nana march in holding up Lock the Gate signs and chain themselves to BOF.

Scene 6: Outside on the streets, outside super markets and bread shops and cafes, everywhere, a birds-eye sweeping shot of miserable, shivering, starving, unemployed masses in Incitec Pivot uniforms burning effigies of Drew Hutton, Ian Gaillard, Brian Monk, Adrian Ricketts and Boudicca Celeste. Everywhere there are huge posters of BOF and "NSW NOW!"

Scene6: Final shot of cows peacefully grazing next to unobtrusive gas well. We can hear children singing. Mozart perhaps.

Screen goes black. There is a voice over of a deep menacing growling sound.

... Ad ends