new coffee machine

Unilife are pleased to announce that a new coffee machine has been installed at their facility. The coffee machine meets all standards and is expect to help staff stay awake whilst awaiting the building of the syringe product line.

The coffee machine is only capable of producing black, with one sugar, but Unilife insist there will be a great demand for it. Although the coffee is also coming out cold, ceo Mr Stuffall said "this is a new 'Safety Coffee'"

UNILIFE WIN AWARD

At the Australian Safety Awards, Unilife have won an award for their new 'Safety Coffee'. Mr Boffin of the safety council said "there are many burns & scalds from hot coffees. 'Safety Coffee' addresses this issue".

Answering critics, who stated that Unilife were the only ones winning awards because nobody else bothers entering, Mr Stuffall said "That's a losers response. Winning these awards are very significant to us, because it allows us to raise more money from our investors".

The new coffee machine cannot operate properly at Unilife's current facility, because the plug point is too far away from the water tap. Whilst awaiting a new tga facility to be built to house the machine, 'Safety Coffee' will be produced in the USA & shipped to Australia.

ABOUT UNILIFE

Unilife, was originally called Uidiot and then Ufool, Umug, Unipratt, Unitract and will soon be renamed UhaveInvestedInUsBefore.

The company was formed in 1476, to market the new 'safety sword', which featured no blade, to avoid self injury. Following safety inventions were 'unsinkable land ship', 'stationary car' and 'asteroid umbrella'.

INVESTOR CONFERENCE CALL

Unilife will hold an investor conference call. Whilst no Unlife staff will attend the call, you may talk to other investors about how good unilife's new 'Safety Coffee' is & how much better it is than other coffees!