I posted this in "humour" by mistake
ORIGINAL VERSION
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building and improving his house and laying up supplies for the
winter.
The grasshopper thinks he's a fool, and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
The shivering grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies, out in the cold.
THE END
MEANWHILE IN AUSTRALIA . . .
The squirrel works hard in the withering heat all summer long,
building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
The grasshopper thinks he’s a fool, and laughs and dances and plays
the summer away.
Come winter, the squirrel is warm and well fed.
A social worker finds the shivering grasshopper, calls a press
conference and demands to know why the squirrel should be allowed to
be warm and well fed while others less fortunate, like the
grasshopper, are cold and starving.
The ABC shows up to provide live coverage of the shivering
grasshopper, with cuts to a video of the squirrel in his comfortable
warm home with a table laden with food.
The Australian press informs people that they should be ashamed that
in a country of such wealth, this poor grasshopper is allowed to
suffer so while others have plenty.
The Greens, the Labor Party, Greenpeace, Animal Rights and The
Grasshopper Housing Commission of Australia demonstrate in front of
the squirrel's house.
The ABC, interrupting a cultural festival special from St Kilda with
breaking news, broadcasts a multi-cultural choir singing ‘We Shall
Overcome'.
Bill Shorten rants in an interview with Laurie Oakes that the squirrel
got rich off the backs of grasshoppers, and calls for an immediate tax
hike on the squirrel to make him pay his ‘fair share’ and increases
the charge for squirrels to enter Melbourne city centre.
In response to pressure from the media, the Government drafts the
Economic Equity and Grasshopper Anti-Discrimination Act, retroactive
to the beginning of the summer. The squirrel's taxes are reassessed.
He is taken to court and fined for failing to hire grasshoppers as
builders, for the work he was doing on his home and an additional fine
for contempt when he told the court the grasshopper did not want to
work.
The grasshopper is provided with a Housing Commission house, financial
aid to furnish it and an account with a local taxi firm to ensure he
can be socially mobile.
The squirrel's food is seized and re-distributed to the more needy
members of society - in this case the grasshopper.
Without enough money to buy more food, to pay the fine and his newly
imposed retroactive taxes, the squirrel has to downsize and start
building a new home.
The local authority takes over his old home and utilises it as a
temporary home for asylum seeking cats who had hijacked a plane to get
to Australia as they had to share their country of origin with mice.
On arrival they tried to blow up the airport because of Australians'
apparent love of dogs.
The cats had been arrested for the international offence of hijacking
and attempted bombing but were immediately released because the police
fed them pilchards instead of salmon whilst in custody.
Initial moves to make them return to their own country were abandoned
because it was feared they would face death by the mice.
The cats devise and start a scam to obtain money from people's credit cards.
A 60 Minutes special shows the grasshopper finishing up the last of
the squirrel’s food, though spring is still months away, while the
Housing Commission house he is in, crumbles around him because he
hasn’t bothered to maintain it. He is shown to be taking drugs.
Sarah Hanson Young blames inadequate government funding for the
grasshopper’s drug ‘illness'.
The cats seek recompense in the Australian courts for their treatment
since arrival in Australia.
The grasshopper gets arrested for stabbing an old dog during a
burglary to get money for his drugs habit. He is imprisoned but
released immediately because he has been in custody for a few weeks.
He is placed in the care of the probation service to monitor and supervise him.
Within a few weeks he has killed a guinea pig in a botched robbery.
A commission of enquiry, that will eventually cost $10 million and
state the obvious, is set up.
Additional money is put into funding a drug rehabilitation scheme for
grasshoppers.
Legal aid for lawyers representing asylum seekers is increased.
The asylum seeking cats are praised by the government for enriching
Australia’s multicultural diversity and dogs are criticised by the
government for failing to befriend the cats.
The grasshopper dies of a drug overdose.
The usual sections of the press blame it on the obvious failure of
government to address the root causes of despair arising from social
inequity and his traumatic experience of prison.
The Greens and the Labor Party call for the resignation of the Prime Minister.
The cats are paid $1 million each because their rights were infringed
when the government failed to inform them there were mice in
Australia.
The squirrel, the dogs and the victims of the hijacking, the bombing,
the burglaries and robberies have to pay an additional percentage on
their credit cards to cover losses, their taxes are increased to pay
for law and order, and they are told that they will have to work
beyond 65 because of a shortfall in government funds.
THE END
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