next year

Here is a forcast for you care of Marcus Pedley at Tricom.

2008 – A PREVIEW
I’m not sure how this happened but someone at the ******* Review must have hit the wrong button this week and sent us a copy of
all of next year’s front page headlines. You won’t have to buy another newspaper for 12 months. Here’s a sneak peek.
Possible
• US dollar hits all time low as Japanese Government reveal net long position of $641bn in US Bonds has been sold. Now net
short.
• Chinese declare US$641bn long position in US Bonds. Close Japanese Embassy.
• US Trade deficit hits all time high. US Budget deficit hits all time high.
• US Recession enters its third quarter.
• US Official cash rate hits 0%.
• Federal Reserve Chairman Donald Kohn refuses comment on Bernanke retirement biography entitled “Soft and Sorry”.
• Aussie dollar hits parity for the first time since 1982.
• Iron ore price negotiations see iron ore price up 100%.
• RIO accepts BHP bid in absence of higher offer.
• Rudd Government says any bid for RIO is in the national interest.
• RIO accepts China backed Baosteel bid in absence of higher offer.
• Future Fund declares substantial shareholding in RIO.
• BHP accepts Anglo Xstrata American bid in absence of higher offer.
• Fortescue Metals hits $100 in anticipation of first ore shipment on time.
• Packer second richest man in Australia.
• Four Australian stockbrokers IPO themselves on the ASX.
• Bell Potter sold to yanks.
• Market peaks.
• Baosteel makes huge iron ore find in China.
• Chinese government admits economic statistics are “Figment of imagination…..all made up”.
• Hu Jintao labels Australian resources sector “playground for irrational exuberant capitalists”.
• Fortescue Metals hits 43c on cancellation of second ore shipment.
• BHP sold to private equity by Anglo Xstrata American Administrators. IPOs on Australian equity market at discount to issue
price.
• JB Were’s seminal research on the “The 2008 Commodity wreck” published in hardback.
• Banks outperform All Ordinaries index for first time since 2002.
• Bell Brothers buy Bell Potter for $2.
Other
• Peter Costello succeeds Allan Moss as Macquarie CEO. Declares “At last, I’m running the country”.
• John Howard appointed Gray-Nicolls deputy sub-assistant to marketing manager.
• George Bush appointed non Executive Chairman of Northrop Grumman, Raytheon, General Dynamics and Lockheed Martin.
• Allan Moss writes bestseller entitled “Rich Dad, F’ing Rich Dad”.
• Kevin Rudd in “Hot Kittens” car wash bust. Approval ratings soar.
• Subscribers to iGoogleVisa card get 500 free trades on iGoogle*Trade plus free iGooglePhone.
• After the success of their 36 million dollar prosecution of Dick Pratt the ACCC blows lid on secret Middle Eastern price fixing
plot un by “Oil Price Exploitation Cartel”. OPEC fined $360 billion.
• Richest man in Australia James Packer buys back PBL Media for $1.
Impossible
• Mum and Dad investor gets 100% of requested firm allocation in IPO and it lists at a premium.
• Private placement in small stock at deep discount to market price doesn’t go to MD, his broker and his mates.
• MD of top 100 company sacked for incompetence and doesn’t get $33m.
• CEO actually leaves job for personal reasons.
• Directors of day-trader’s stock doesn’t leak announcement before it is announced.
• Biotech stock jumps 100% on Phase III trial results and doesn’t have a share issue.
Deserved
• Tricom Today nominated least boring broker research 2007.
(None of the jokes expressed in this article are the views of Tricom, Tricom Research or anyone with a responsible job)