No Joke.

Cattle Industry Consider Planting A Refugee In Winton To Get Some f*en Government Attention
 CONTACTWith Outback Queensland now in clean-up and recovery mode following the flood crisis where floodwaters inundated an area greater than the size of New South Wales, farmers are still wondering whether the Prime Minster knows.This comes after the Australian government spent the entire week debating whether or not sick and dying asylum seekers should have access to treatment, a bill that was introduced by the independent candidate that was voted into power during the Wentworth By-Election which only happened because a couple of rich old men from a bunch of affluent beachside Sydney electorates couldn’t get along.
Debates over the MediVac bill have dominated the media cycle this week, while primary producers in the North West are left to deal with stagnating water and over 500,000 dead cows that starting to turn in the hot February sun.The cattle, which were already suffering sever drough-stress after seven years without decent rain, were quick to go down when central and north-west Queensland suffered three years worth of rain in ten days.Prime Minister Morrison has pledged Queensland shires inundated by devastating floods that have caused widespread losses, with $1 million each from the Federal Government. 
One thing that is for certain, however, is that mainstream news and the greater population have been shielded from any of the images being sent down from up north, as some families see every fence and animal on their property destroyed by flood.Out of options and lacking any substantial support outside a Palaszczuk  Qld Govt. donation of $200,000, the Queensland cattle industry have plotted a bold plan.By planting a refugee in the waterlogged far-central-west town of Betoota, the farmers are expecting a wave of media cameras and government officials to arrive in the region by sun down.“He’s actually pretty handy on the shovel” said one local publican, Bob Takker (75), who has provided accommodation to the 30-year-old Syrian brain surgeon providing he helps him clean up a bit.“He’s done more for us in the last couple hours than Morrison has since August”Organisers behind the radical political statement say it wasn’t that hard to find a refugee, considering the entire region is covered in water from Cloncurry to Burketown.“We just took a jet ski up to South-East Asia.” said one local farmer, Greg Maudlington.“You wanna talk bout borders, well the Gulf is just about scraping the Mt Isa this week”.
Our reporters approached The Nightwatchman for comment, but it appears he was too busy posting funny videos to Facebook in his Cronulla Sharks scarf.Bill Shorten’s office said he was too busy googling colloquial Aussie expressions to use on the campaign trail.Richard Di Natale is believed to be bushwalking in the Grampians.