Copy/pasted from Sydney morning Herald
"A fellow arrives up at the pearly gates and is going through his screening by St Peter. He could not help but ask St Peter why he had all those clocks on the wall behind him. St Peter said: “My son they are lie clocks. They register every time you tell a lie. Take this one for example, it never once moved. It is Saint Teresa’s clock. Here’s another interesting one. It is the clock of Abraham Lincoln. It moved twice which means that in his whole life he only told two lies.”
Our man was intrigued and asked: “St Peter, where is Tony Abbott’s clock?”
“Oh, Jesus has it in his office. Uses it as a ceiling fan.”
"
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