Fresh reports from the Ocean Patriot drilling rig tonight indicate that the entire crew of treadmill hamsters has gone on strike, causing the rig to shut down completely.
The strike was apparently caused by a group of sex-starved rig workers, who had not posted a letter for over five weeks. Several female hamsters that were resting after their shift allegedly had gaffer tape wrapped around their waists to prevent explosions, and were then shared amongst the workers.
In order to prevent a recurrence of this disaster, a fresh crew of male hamsters is being flown in by helicopter. It is hoped that these hamsters will be able to keep the bit moving in the hole for another few days, uintil decent lubrication is found.
BAS Price at posting:
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