If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
There's no future in time travel.
Smith & Wesson: The original point and click interface.
Radioactive cats have 18 half-lives.
Who is General Failure and why is he reading my hard disk?
What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
If you can't convince them, confuse them.
Multitasking - screwing up several things at once.
Dyslexics of the world, untie!
I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
A good pun is its own reword.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
Wear short sleeves! Support your right to bare arms!
To err is human, to moo bovine.
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Friends may come and go, but enemies tend to accumulate.
How does Teflon stick to the pan?
Corduroy pillows: They're making headlines!
Black holes are where God divided by zero.
All those who believe in psychokinesis raise my hand.
There's an exception to every rule, except this one.
I was going to procrastinate, but I put it off.
