Hi All Feeling 1000 times better than when I last posted. After taking the time to sit down and really think things through I realised that what I really feared/ was distressed by were the physical symptoms of the PA- mainly the shaking- hated it ( 3 PA's in around 2 years).. Also that my internal feelings were not as significant or as elevated as my outward signs. So it was the adrenaline surge that I needed to address ; anyone who has been there knows once that adrenaline kicks in at full force there is not much to be done about it. It seemed to me it was a stimulus response situation- put me in a close social situation and I felt terrified by what had happened previously- embarrassing myself. Like a child that's been attacked by a dog.. The experience is so unstoppable and frightening... See a dog again...bang - the anxiety/ panic kicks in...hopefully the slowly does it approach will work best to alleviate the feelings. Not a phobia though as I still truly do and want to be a social person. Always have and still enjoy it, although now with some trepidation...I hope to kick that one day. Had a long chat to my GP- she prescribed beta blockers to take prior to social outings to block the adrenaline effects- I believe that will give me the confidence I need to put the memory behind and manage symptoms. Will try them when needed and let you know. Have spoken to a few close friends too- all very understanding and lovely. So I don't feel consumed or defined by it anymore.. It's a part of me that i will keep working on. This has been a great thread- anyone who is feeling vulnerable now or has been in the past needs to know they're not alone or crazy..benefits of simply talking to others can never be underestimated.
