Yesterday, I was at my local Woolies buying a large bag of Chum dog food for my loyal pet and was in the checkout queue when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog..!
What did she think I had, an elephant?
So, since I'm retired and have little to do, on impulse I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, I was starting the Chum Diet again.
I added that I probably shouldn't, because I ended up in hospital last time, but I'd lost 13 Kilos before I woke up in intensive care with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way it works, is to load your pockets with Chum nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The food is nutritionally complete so it works well and I was going to try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in queue was now enthralled with my story).
Horrified, she asked me if I ended up in intensive care because the Dog Food poisoned me. I told her no, that I stepped off the kerb to sniff an Irish Setter's arse and a car hit me.
I thought the guy behind her was going to have a heart attack he was laughing so hard. I'm now banned from Woolies. Didn't like shopping there anyway!
