Qld in safe hands

Originally posted by mogga ↑

Good morning Premier! Welcome to the Executive building. Let me show you up to your office

Who are you?

I’m your Chief of Staff. I’m responsible for the overall day to day running of the Premier’s office – I manage your diary, your meetings, all your briefings, as well as all the other ancillary engagements and public appearances. If you’d like to follow me…..

Do I get my own lift? I spoke to Anna last night, and said she had her own lift.

I’ll see what I can do…..This way please……………G-1-2-3-4-5….18. Bing.

Here we are … this is your office...through there we have the…

WOOOOOOOWWWW. Look at the view!

Look - there’s the big wheel.

And the sky needle. You can see forever.

Do you think we’d be able to see Inala from up here? Which way would it be?

I think it’s over to the south. But if we could get down to business?

There’s a lot to get through. You’ve got your first provisional Cabinet meeting at 10, there’s a press conference at 11…

Hang on. Hang on. Cabinet meeting?

We can't have a Cabinet meeting yet. The Unions haven't finalised who’s in charge of which portfolio.

They're still working it out. All I know is Jackie has baggsed Transport and Trade, and about six other things ..

I can't remember what. And Curtis – I’ve promised Curtis he can be Treasurer, because he’s just enrolled in Bookkeeping at TAFE.

He reckons if he tells his lecturer he’s the State Treasurer, he’ll pass him automatically.

Ok. I’ll try and postpone the cabinet meeting until we hear what they’ve decided. But can I suggest…

And If you’re talking to anybody from the Unions, do what you can to make sure Cameron Dick is in charge of Hospitals.

You mean Health?

Yeah Health. And Hospitals. I don't want him looking good or he’ll try and swipe my job.

I'll see what I can do. Here are your notes for the press conference.

I’ve highlighted the really important bits with a green highlighter, and remember, plenty of conviction, use your hands a lot.

First impressions are important.

I hope that bloody Steve Austin from the ABC isn't going to be there. I don’t like him. He’s nosy. What do you think they’ll ask me?

It’s all there. Your immediate priorities… start with them.

Then just talk generally about the plans for the future.

Growth. Stability. Not selling assets.

Talk about Campbell Newman if you like. Just don't go into too many specifics. And be careful with any questions about GST.

Don't worry – I’ve written it down. 10%. Unless you’re telling me they’ve changed it again? Please tell me they’ve haven't changed it.

No. It’s still 10%.

Phew. Speaking of GST…where do I get a coffee? I haven't had one yet this morning… and I find coffee helps me think on my feet...

Yes. That’s been noted. I’ve got you your own Nespresso machine…it’s hidden in that small cabinet behind your desk.

Wow. My own Nespresso machine….

That’s great. Can you make sure there’s plenty of the little green thingys.

They’re my favorite…. And some purple ones too. Just none of the silvery black ones. I find them really bitter.

Yes Premier…. Green and purple. No black. Straight after the press conference, you've got a meeting with CCIQ… they want to..

Hang on. Who?

The CCIQ – the Chamber of Commerce and Industry Queensland…

What do they do?

Well – they’re the body that represents the interests of business, in particular small business …

Do they have a union rep?

No. They don't have a union rep. They’re the ones who fight with the unions.

Well I’m not meeting with them. Send Curtis.

Curtis is at TAFE until noon.

Damn. OK. Let’s think. What about somebody like Alex Scott from the Public Service Union.

That’s kind of similar isn't it? And Alex is a really fast talker. They won't be able to understand him.

Alex isn't actually a member of Parliament, Premier.

But I’ll see what I can do. Will there be anything else at the moment, before I let you get down to the business of running the state?

Yes. Can you get me some mints. A little bowl of Mentos. Like they have in all the hotel foyers.

And some biscuits… Iced vo-vos. I like iced vo-vos with my coffee.

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R.I.P. Qld and R.I.P. Vic

SHAME, SHAME, SHAME