Rape-Proof Pants

Here's an innovation from the nation of innovators - rape-proof pants made out of kevlar and a 130dB alarm built in if "someone" tampers with them. Those Germans, very clever, they've worked out the best way of living in a multicultural country - restrict the freedom of women so they're a bit safer.

I'm trying to decide whether to get Mrs RedRock a couple of pairs or just go the whole hog and buy her a burkha. Kevlar, of coruse.