Hi ... just strapping myself in for the next battle in the war of terror involving good vs evil. Hope you all thanked the Lord for waking up this morning, even though a lot of you probably don't deserve to. Another day, another God-given mission to try to enlighten Satan's useful idiots out there, including a giant dark pool of evolutionary intellectual midgets, blinded by deception, untruths and mumbo-jumbo. My mission, however, is to try to do God's work and brighten up you day with some home truths, although why He bothers with some of you half the time I just don't know.
Anyway, we're at ground zero, the Big Bang, which may or may not have happened as I wasn't around to verify it, although judging by some of the Neanderthal musings out there some of you might have been, so I'll defer on that one to your perceived wisdom. So we have this mega-nuclear supernova as God said, "let there be light", and of course there was. Naturally, there was no life after that, all fried to little bits except lots of iron ore and rubble. Then God decided to create Earth, eons later no doubt as we're nowhere near 13 billion years old, to make a magnificent home for the likes of many of you, why Lord I don't know, you should have just dumped them on Pluto.
He then created gold, platinum, silver and all manner of beautiful things, inert and alive, for this Heaven on Earth. Of course he also created many forms of life, because only God can create life out of nothing. Some retards have informed me gold can be created in a super-nuclear reaction; very clever, try that with something you want to create that lives. Tough one that, yes?
Unfortunately Lucifer, being as vain as many of his adherents and other useful idiots here on Earth today, rebelled, got his arse kicked and was banished to Earth with a horde of fellow travellers. God then created Adam and Eve, as any intelligent, educated and thinking person knows, but the Devil deceived them (nothing IS new under the Sun, is it?) and that's why we have to work out butts off today to survive.
God then saw the evil in the world that mankind had embraced and sent his son Jesus to save the human race from itself. Predictably, a horde of useful idiots and other low-lifes hated him so much they made him endure a horrible death, but being God's Son he fulfilled the (verified) Scriptures and rose to Heaven, after being seen by scores of people, who dutifully recorded the sensational event, thus a humble carpenter became the world's greatest living legend, and still is, dying for our sins so many of you can avoid your free choice of Hell, although that's what a lot of you deserve.
Oops, must try to be positive and Christian and save this bunch of morons, dumkopffs and other ferals...
