“No Jab For Me” Says Byron Woman Who Lets Untrained Colonics Gurus Blast Her Rectum With Litres Of Water
"No Jab For Me" Says Byron Woman Who Lets Untrained Colonics Gurus Blast Her Rectum With Litres Of Water — The Betoota Advocate
The rates of conspiracy-led vaccine skepticism in the Byron region is now verging on a public health emergency, with just 63.6 per cent of children aged two fully immunised as of June 2019 — significantly below the state average of 91.4 per cent.
These numbers were recorded well before the anti-vaxxer movement exploded during the COVID-19 pandemic, leading health experts to assume the very worst that rates were now even lower.
However, the pseudo-medical expertise of this privileged class of hippy elites is not limited to just criticising vaccinations, it is now at the point where any form intravenous medical procedure has been stigmatised as government mind control.
According to the British Medical Journal, 39 per cent of infant death related to a parental refusal of Vitamin K injections occurred in the Tweed region and Northern Rivers of NSW – areas where immunisation refusal rates are highest in Australia”.
However, at Byron’s picturesque Wategos beach today sits Emerald Monèt, a 38-year-old linenfluencer who has had her entire faith in the public health system undermined by the other beautiful women she worships on Instagram.
“I’m not anti-vax, I’m just pro-freedoms” says the full-time stay-at-home mother of three, who doesn’t seem to extend these same political ideologies to gun ownership, or even pitbull ownership.
Emerald says she thinks anyone who wants to get the jab should be able to, but she’s not one of those people.
“Personally I don’t trust some of these doctors who seem sooooooo keen to put needles in our arms” she says, almost completely unaware of the irony in this statement coming from someone who undergoes weekly colonic irrigation therapy in the garage of some untrained hippy who also ‘treats’ her scoliosis through traditional Chinese acupuncture needles to the spine that she also has no idea how to use.
However, the idea of vaccine skepticism is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to how much misinformation has been allowed to spread throughout the Facebook feeds and YouTube videos of Australia.
The theory of government-sanctioned vaccine mind control is only one cog in the greater conspiracy that suggests COVID-19 isn’t even real, and is merely an oppressive false flag operation that all of Australia’s underwhelming public servants are complicit in pedalling in an effort to destroy our economy for no tangible gain.
“It’s a shamdemic” says Emerald, as she confidently allows herself to make peace with the most far-fetched conspiracy ever put in front of her, out of an existential fear that there is no higher power that is secretly in control of the uncertain world she finds herself in after a lifetime of privilege and his now tormented by the idea of long-term compromises in her comfortable middle class existence that allowed her to bounce around the east coast of Australia in a Kombi van without any form of full time employment her entire adult life, right up until the point where she married a soul-less property developer and popped out a few rugrats who have no say in the fact that their entire childhood is now documented online in up to 20 Instagram photoshoots a week.
“They are just trying to control us” she says.
