THE FRIDAY CHUCKLeR™ USA Loses Presidential Election By The...

THE FRIDAY CHUCKLeR™

USA Loses Presidential Election

By The Shovel on November 9, 2016

America has lost the 2016 Presidential Election.
After a lengthy campaign that stretched over many months, the nation fell well short of expectations. Many believe the heartbreaking result could spell the end for the country, although some are hopeful it will fight on.
America had won every previous presidential election, in a glittering career, but was not able to get across the line this time.
In a concession speech early this morning, US time, a spokesperson said simply, “we tried”.


Leaked Emails From Clinton Server Reveal There Are Hundreds Of Singles Available In Her Area

By The Shovel on November 4, 2016

In yet another twist in the US presidential campaign, the new tranche of emails first referred to by the FBI’s James Comey reveal there are literally hundreds of hot singles in the New York area ready to meet Hillary Clinton.
The emails, which were leaked to media today, show that the singles contacted Mrs Clinton looking to connect with like-minded, fun-loving people up for a good time. While some messages claimed there were no strings attached, others did not explicitly state this, leading to further claims of potential corruption.
Disturbingly, there also seems to be a Russian link to the emails, with at least one referring specifically to unmarried Russian women ready to connect right now.
The emails, which were sent to an address on Mrs Clinton’s private email server, also include hundreds of messages seeming to offer significant financial support in return for small favours, such as a bank account number.


Washington Home Depot store receives order for five-thousand gallons of gold exterior paint



The Washington DC branch of the famous chain of home improvement superstores received an unusual and baffling phone call late last night.
Store manager Chuck Williams told reporters, “We received a telephone call just before closing last night from a very excited gentleman, placing an order for over $120,000 worth of gold concrete paint.”
He continued “It was quite a hurried conversation, and I couldn’t catch everything he said, but I did hear the caller say something cryptic about turning a white house gold.
“I honestly have no idea what he could have meant, perhaps it was a riddle. And weirdly he kept referring to himself in the third person.
“At first we thought it might have been a hoax or someone out of their head on mind-altering substances, but we have checked our account and the money is already there, so we will start fulfilling the order immediately.”
When pressed by reporters, Mr Williams was reluctant to give further details for fear of breaching customer confidentiality, but he did confirm that the order was for a residence on Pennsylvania Avenue NW, Washington, D.C 20500.
He added, “I don’t know who this caller who referred to himself as ‘The Big Cheese’ could be, but he sure loves gold.”