Not since Perry White & the Daily Planet took a chance on a...

Not since Perry White & the Daily Planet took a chance on a young cadet called Clark Kent, has the world seen such momentous reporting. Not one for the tried & true method of critical thinking & verifying sources, young Tommy blazed a trail at the AFR, fearlessly pulling no punches repeatedly reporting only one side of a story. A tireless researcher, this journalistic Goliath will be fondly remembered for his early work on breaking down gender barriers, as he effortlessly referred to African ministers by incorrect gender pronouns. Truly “legendary” stuff.

Somewhat odd that such a ladder-climbing young journo in his prime has taken a seemingly unplanned hiatus with no immediate work plans??? (most workers I’ve seen depart like this have done it with a size 12 planted firmly up their coit, followed by a slammed door).

An “absolute legend” you say Sh!tstick? Maybe in Chyna. Most unbiased observers would say an absolute hack! Stacking shelves in a Perth supermarket is young Tommy’s calling.