In Breaking Turtle Spud News:
- 100,000 Ukraine troops encircled by Russian forces since April 2022, have suddenly disappeared and can't be found by Russkies; and
- Supposed Nato generals captured in Azov Steel Works have finally cracked under intense Z interrogation and revealed themselves to be the steelworks janitor and plumber. Putin hailed this exciting development as the beginning of the end of the Western Power being able to make him look rather silly, noting that wearing pumps is a masculine expression in that it show he does not accept that nature made him tiny.
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