I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following > reasons: > > 1. I do physical labour. > 2. I work at great depths. > 3. I plunge head first into everything I do. > 4. I do not get weekends off or public holidays. > 5. I work in a damp environment. > 6. I don't get paid overtime. > 7. I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation. > 8. I work in high temperatures. > 9. My work exposes me to contagious diseases. > ___________________________________ > > Dear Penis, > After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have > raised, the administration rejects your request for the following > reasons: > 1. You do not work 8 hours straight. > 2. You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods. > 3. You do not always follow the orders of the management team. > 4. You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other > areas. > 5. You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and > stimulated in > order to start working. > 6. You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift. > 7. You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as > wearing the proper safety clothing. > 8. You'll retire well before reaching 65. > 9. You're unable to work double shifts. > 10.You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have > completed the day's work. > 11.You have been seen entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 > suspicious looking bags. > > Sincerely, > Management >
