sex

This ones been around before,but just seemed apt for the time.
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Girls -- Please have a sense of humor!



I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and
women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars
thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart.



FOR EXAMPLE:

One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into
bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't
feel like it, I just want you to hold me.'


I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!


So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet
dreads to hear...


'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman
enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'


She responded to my puzzled look by saying, 'Can't you just
love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'


Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I
went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to
spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a
big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment
her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a
pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing
me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to
play tennis.



I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'That's fine,
honey.' She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all

dear, let's go to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey,
I don't feel like it.'

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with
a baffled, 'WHAT?'


I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for
a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for
me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill
me, I added, 'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I
buy you?'

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....but at least
she knows I'm smarter than her.

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