I thought about your post for most of the day- whilst pouring beer at my golf club bar job lol-
have to organise my thoughts to address a few things- first -
I did a course at interrelate (miranda) parents not partners-
This is the one great thing that changed how I saw things--- Whilst doing the intake the psychologist said I would probably help more than get help- LOL-boy he was right-
in a group of 15 some were the "cheaters" some were the devastated - by the time that the group was finished over 6 weeks one 3 hr session a week most looked at themselves and what they were doing to their kids- one guy whom I suspect was a cheater had done a 360- and said he wished he did the course years ago-the arrogance and the cruelty of some of these types was sincerely exposed in a way that made them think----
do the course no if no buts----
Most of the group had run into real trouble about 3 years post split which fired up my radar- i could not believe the stats going around the room- and that did help to understand that when people realize its really over it's gloves off and go for money--
And that is when all the crazy evil behavior begins- I would stay away from court if you can at all costs- If you think your broke now the initial stuff costs 50k to go to final hearing 100k plus - one court day is at least 10k it is a lawyer party and they do all they can to make it a drama preying on the emotional distress of us parents---
I have had a few other thoughts at how to put a stop to this garbage-
firstly after a whole year of 'them' investigating every aspect of our lives - a witch hunt on me and when that didn't work now finally they have enlisted the shrinks to sort it out-
Which in my view should have been ordered first up- the ex's personalty disorder will be picked up finally cold comfort----
i can't get legal aid but maybe you can- go to the best lawyer and get them to apply--- god speed be prepared
I am seriously thinking of going to the local federal member -first on my agenda make sure lawyers can not profit from family law-
second point make sure everyone has had a psychological analysis before they are allowed to step into a court room-
This would end the whole misery for us all as I am certain that there are cases on both sides of the spectrum that are high volatility because of the profile of the people both men and women that have bad disorders-we are the ones that keep family law churning- Oh to be able to be assessed as a reasonable person before the law steps in - there's no justice in law---
