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27/08/16
21:52
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Originally posted by mirren
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I thought about your post for most of the day- whilst pouring beer at my golf club bar job lol-
have to organise my thoughts to address a few things- first -
I did a course at interrelate (miranda) parents not partners-
This is the one great thing that changed how I saw things--- Whilst doing the intake the psychologist said I would probably help more than get help- LOL-boy he was right-
in a group of 15 some were the "cheaters" some were the devastated - by the time that the group was finished over 6 weeks one 3 hr session a week most looked at themselves and what they were doing to their kids- one guy whom I suspect was a cheater had done a 360- and said he wished he did the course years ago-the arrogance and the cruelty of some of these types was sincerely exposed in a way that made them think----
do the course no if no buts----
Most of the group had run into real trouble about 3 years post split which fired up my radar- i could not believe the stats going around the room- and that did help to understand that when people realize its really over it's gloves off and go for money--
And that is when all the crazy evil behavior begins- I would stay away from court if you can at all costs- If you think your broke now the initial stuff costs 50k to go to final hearing 100k plus - one court day is at least 10k it is a lawyer party and they do all they can to make it a drama preying on the emotional distress of us parents---
I have had a few other thoughts at how to put a stop to this garbage-
firstly after a whole year of 'them' investigating every aspect of our lives - a witch hunt on me and when that didn't work now finally they have enlisted the shrinks to sort it out-
Which in my view should have been ordered first up- the ex's personalty disorder will be picked up finally cold comfort----
i can't get legal aid but maybe you can- go to the best lawyer and get them to apply--- god speed be prepared
I am seriously thinking of going to the local federal member -first on my agenda make sure lawyers can not profit from family law-
second point make sure everyone has had a psychological analysis before they are allowed to step into a court room-
This would end the whole misery for us all as I am certain that there are cases on both sides of the spectrum that are high volatility because of the profile of the people both men and women that have bad disorders-we are the ones that keep family law churning- Oh to be able to be assessed as a reasonable person before the law steps in - there's no justice in law---
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I'm not in Australia and the family court thing is more a mediation without lawyers. I'm trying to grin and bear most of it just so the kids aren't dragged into the middle. There was no cheating involved in our case, just two people who weren't suited to each other from the beginning. I truly hope things work out for you in the long-run. Sometimes things happen to us in life we don't want and can't understand but we have to accept hoping the reason for it becomes clearer down the track.
As the great philosopher Sir Michael Jagger said while he strutted around like a rooster, "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometimes well you might find you get what you need."