A jittery fellow named Fred
Had problems with sleeping in bed.
He could sleep on a chair
Or a stool — anywhere
But in bed, where things came to a head.
He was haunted in bed by his fears,
Whether sober or after some beers.
He would worry and fret—
Could not snooze on a bet.
And that’s how he lived for ten years.
But then Pauline Hanson came into his life.
(He’d heard about O/N from his wife.)
Their patriotic discussions and talk
Made his sad thoughts take a walk.
Now he slumbers in bed without strife.
