Given everyone is asleep and the latest piddly Director share...

Given everyone is asleep and the latest piddly Director share purchase means that there is nothing coming shortly to wake everyone up, I thought I would do my bit to entertain everyone with a fictitious account of interviews between Neil Mitchell and Peter Cook & Grant Latta of Biota, which I posted last year.

FICTITIOUS INTERVIEW 1

Event: Swine Flu comes to Melbourne, yet the media is only talking about Tamiflu. No evidence of any marketing by GSK or Biota

Neil Mitchell: Ive got Peter Cook & Grant Latta from Biota Holdings now on the line

Neil: First to you, Peter, can you fill me in on the GSK lawsuit in 2008

PC: Yes Neil, a wonderful result for shareholders

Neil: Didnt GSK offer to settle for $100 million, but you accepted $20 million and paid $30 million in legal fees? How is that a wonderful result for shareholders?

PC: Err Im not good at maths can you ask Grant a question?

Neil: Okay, Grant, in the Biota website it says that you are a senior business executive with strong financial management, marketing and strategic skills. Can you please tell me what you are doing in regard to marketing?

GL: What is marketing?

Neil: Didnt you write that on your website?

GL: No ... thats laughable, I dont even know how to turn on a computer, that was the office admin girl, she does everything around here from writing investor presentations to making a mean cuppa tea.

Neil: I think well leave it there folks

FICTITIOUS INTERVIEW 2

Event: GSK announce that they massively increase RELENZA production, probable new delivery system for RELENZA, & WHO to declare pandemic level 6. I wonder if Biota management will awaken from their slumber and open their mouths.

Neil Mitchell: We have Peter Cook and Grant Latta from Biota Holdings in the studio today. Well, gentleman, all this news bodes well for Biotas share price.

PC: Slow down Neil. Everytime a bird dies in Egypt, the share price flies

Neil: Dont you mean everytime pigs die in Egypt, the share price flies?

PC: Er ... Im not good at animals ... Grant can you please help me here

GL: You are 100% correct Peter. It certainly about birds, everyone knows that pigs cant fly?

Neil: I think Peter was referring to the share price flying, not pigs flying

GL: Thats even more impossible, everyone knows that a share price cant fly, at least pigs have wings.

Neil: I think well leave it there folks. Well, listeners it looks like you will see pigs fly before Biota management open their mouths and say something intelligent

FICTITIOUS INTERVIEW 3

Event: Peter Cook is interviewed by the Herald-Sun and says some baffling things about the Biota share price and how his shareholders he gets upset with its volatility.

Neil Mitchell: Back in the studio we have Peter Cook & Grant Latta from Biota Holdings. Welcome gentleman.

Neil: Firstly, Peter, why on earth are you dressed up in full body armour?

PC: I am the white knight, Sir Dumbalot of Camelot. I am the defender of my people, the vulnerable holders of the shares. The holders of the shares get very distressed when the price of the share rises. I will see that the price of the share does NOT rise and I will duel against anyone who dare upset my people.

Neil: I thought shareholders were more likely to be upset by you talking down the share price

PC: I must go now. I must rescue Guinivere from the evil Maleagant.

.........

Neil: Well thats never happened before. Grant, it looks like its just you and me. Arent you a tad concerned that the head of your company dresses up as a round table knight?

GL: I didnt realise he was actually wearing armour. I thought I was hallucinating from all the Tamiflu Ive been taking to get rid of my head cold

Neil: Tamiflu? Shouldnt you be taking RELENZA.

GL: Short term it works the same as RELENZA . And it is all about the Short term. Knights like Peter and I always get found out in the end and thus are never around for the long term.

Neil: Is your boardroom table round by any chance?