Number :10 Golfer: "I think I'm going to drown myself in the lake." Caddy: "Think you can keep your head down that long, sir?"
Number : 9 Golfer: "I'd move heaven and earth to break 100 on this course." Caddy: "Try heaven sir, you've already moved most of the earth."
Number : 8 Golfer: "Do you think my game is improving?" Caddy: "Yes sir . . . . You miss the ball much closer now."
Number : 7 Golfer: "Do you think I can get there with a 5 iron?" Caddy: "Eventually, sir."
Number : 6 Golfer: "You've got to be the worst caddy in the world." Caddy: "I don't think so sir . . . That would be too much of a coincidence."
Number : 5 Golfer: "Please stop checking your watch all the time. It's too much of a distraction." Caddy: "It's not a watch sir - it's a compass."
Number : 4 Golfer: "How do you like my game?" Caddy: "It's very good sir - but personally, I prefer golf."
Number : 3 Golfer: "Do you think it's a sin to play on Sunday? Caddy: "I'm afraid the way you play sir, it's a sin on any day."
Number : 2 Golfer: "This is the worst course I've ever played on." Caddy: "But this isn't the golf course . . .. We left that an hour ago sir."
And the Number : 1 . . . . Best Caddy Comment: Golfer: "That can't be my ball, it's too old." Caddy: "It's been a long time since we teed off, sir."
Bonus . . . An old favourite . . . about the Golfer who has been slicing off the tee at every hole . . ..
He finally gives up and asks his long suffering caddy . . . Golfer: "Can you see any obvious problems . .. . ?" Caddy: "There's a piece of shit on the end of your club." The Golfer picks up his club and cleans the club face . . . Caddy: "No sir, it’s at the other end"
