Take a Paws

Originally posted by kengaroo: ↑

It is fair to take the time to say one least goodbye.

I have been sick with severe bipolar and depression for the past 30 years. I have destroyed many friendships and continue to do so. I have never had friends as I push people away constantly. My only true friend I know is my loving wife, whom I have never deserved.

Since losing my job, my place as a manager and in control, to being financially stuffed, chronic pain as well as getting blacker day after day. I have to say my depression and Bipolar are winning without even trying.

My Bipolar got so bad the other day, I honestly should have been locked up!!!

Recently I have have been dreaming up every form of suicide imaginable. I sense I need serious help and yet feel so lost at sea. Sharon is at her wits end to know what to do with me. She knows one thing for sure, I will tell her when I need to go back to the mental health ward. I take that extremely seriously!

I have been on Hot Copper for a long time, but have only been posting socially for about 1 or 2 years.
In that time I have not been a good communicator and also harsh in many ways but yet I always had love deep in me.

Any form of social media is not good for the way my head and heart works, so I have to say my last see'ya.
I mean no ill to anyone and in fact have a love and connection with many that I find also way too hard to explain or deal with, as the way of communication is confusing and extremely broken.

I will only be on one thread and that will be my stock, as I only ever had that in the past.
My love of Poetry, music, singing, guitar, painting and the environment, have not been fully explored and now it is time for what I know is true therapy and my time to meditate to my God.

Thanks to the following: bun bun, Margaret, big e, Nobody, Justis, Zero, Zipperlip, Hoots, Wazza, Remark, Roaminoz, Michelef, lakota, jackarooz and so many bloody more.

I simply am not well. Last time I was in the mental ward for 2 weeks....
This time, I am going to leave and take action on finding some real help and hope I can find peace with my God.

Good bye and thank you for trying. Stay safe and please wish me well.

Kind regards
Ken

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You've posted some of your art work on here- a very talented man.

You enjoy walking with your beautiful wife who obviously loves you dearly.

Do what you really enjoy, that which makes your heart sing.

Talk about how you are feeling- don't bottle it up.

Just know that there are many on here who have gone through some horrendous experiences in their lives, and have come out the other end.

The darkest hour is always before the dawn breaks- and it will.

Take care and please stay safe, your beautiful wife needs you, Aren't you lucky to have her