Hence, I stopped work and was going to find the answers for myself (speaking Bible wise here and what it says and not what people say).
I have a very similar problem, except my serious and literal involvement with Christianity stopped at age 13, maybe even earlier when i struck a lecherous priest in a confessional - and I did strike him, not in the face, but across the dividing screen.
I was then looking over my shoulderd for a few years to see if 'the devil' would get me - nothing - I then became an 'indoctrinated socialist' ready to become a politician - for - maybe 1 year - haha - youth is there for us to experiment. Realised many years later the indoctrination process is similar, whether it's religion or politics.
Now I have a friend who exhorts me to read the Bible and i do - from time to time - but read it like a novel, which - apparently is sacrilegious -
I have had some strange experiences when my husband died -
had dreams about a sweet and gentle soul who had to become a soldier in Hitler's army, never returned home - dreamt for years he was alive somewhere in Russia
Dreamt i was on a plane which was plunging into the Favellas (slum district) in a South American city, felt the fear and panic - next day found out a plane had actually crashed in Rio - into the Favellas
managed to send messages once to my mother, when I thought i was dying, and once to a dear friend,
so there are things 'between Heaven and Earth . . . . etc.' but one could call those experiences paranormal .
I do believe humans need religion, but maybe the rules in Christianity (and Judaism) are too severe and too Apollonian, by which I mean, that the 'animal drives' in people are treated in such a way, that they come out all twisted and perverse, because of the suppression - just IMO.
I do believe though, that my simple childhood belief, which never had much truck with threats or the 'devil' have made me into a moral human being.
These sorts of discussions are for the Religious thread, though - and i hope I didn't offend anyone.
Cheers
Taurisk
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