Sorry - I couldn't resist posting this - in times of stress humor helps:
A fly on the wall – many a truth spoken in jest:
An executive is ushered into The Office of the Prime Minister in KL City. The PM sits behind a large beautifully carved desk speaking into his cell:
“But Yinnie, how could this happen – I thought I could just leave it to you to rid ourselves of Lynas! Hey don’t bawl - let the Tun take over sweety – Bye”. The PM looks up over his glasses and smiles.
PM: “Ah, Robo, so good to see you – we’re in damage control – everyone thinks my ministers are idiots – even other ministers think their colleagues are idiots. Anyway, I was so pleased that we could get you into meetings with key people including Yinny, Fuzzy and Wongy – and oh yes our chums at the Chinese embassy. I know Yinny particularly wanted you to meet them especially to lubricate the way for a big palm oil contract, if you’ll excuse the pun – hah-hah”
Robo: Thank you from the bottom of my sincere heart Mr. Prime Minister. And a special thanks for setting up all of these meetings with all of your top people, especially when Yinny hasn’t even got time to visit that awful radiation factory that Lynas calls the LAMP. But anyway, let’s get down to business!”
PM: “Ah yes, I’m so busy these days – I can’t understand why my darling Yinee can’t handle things and just get them out – ugh - it’s just more work for me. If she wasn’t…well so brilliant, I think...hasn’t she a PhD from Oxford or somewhere…Oh, never mind I’m wandering again.”
Robo: “Rest assured sir, she is a star. But let’s get down to the facts. Sir, I believe that our thinking is perfectly aligned with that of yours and your great government. We both know that this radioactive rubbish from Lynas must be stopped. Second, we can clean the ore in Australia before it comes to Malaysia and can set up a cleaning plant over there in 5 minutes – it’s called cracking and leaching by the way – solving everything. We’ll even take all that nasty highly radioactive residue off you – we have a secret method of neutralizing the radioactivity and turning it into real fertilizer! Anyway, I can tell you that there are dozens of companies that want to buy Lynas – but of course we’d be the best.
PM: Yes, yes – that’s exactly what Yinny has been telling me. But what are these funny rumors about bananas being more radioactive than the Lynas’ residue? Or fish – or was it chickens - with two or three heads.. or expelling Lynas will make room for more investment in Malaysia.. or the Japanese will fold and let us continue to finance with the bonds. Oh, I’m so confused and Yinny’s cozy fireside chats don’t help at all – especial when Wongy bursts in with an incomprehensible rant about killing anyone who works for Lynas! Even worse when Fuzzy bursts in with a fatwa condemning anyone to do with Lynas with eternal damnation!”
Robo: “Yes sir, it’s all true – except for the bananas – how ridiculous - We all eat bananas and look we’re all fine! And hey – there were hundreds of thousands of protester not just hundreds – think about the voters sir! I think we should do a press conference sir – here’s my suggestion”
Hands a sheet to the PM who studies it with a confused expression”
PM: “Cracking and whatting? Um, maybe I’ll just say…… whatever…Right. Well...thank you Robo, unlike that untrustworthy Lynas boss, I can see that you are up front and dependable with our interests at mind. That Lynas boss - I think she’s perverted in some way – claims to have invited Yinee in inspect their factory. What! Would you go to a highly radioactive area when trying you conceive?! Um, I guess you couldn’t anyway. BUT the point is…oh dear I’m wandering again…”
Robo: “Thank you sir – you have my direct line so just contact me whenever and on the slightest concern. Remember that we are here to serve. What is good for you is good for us. Anything sir, anything, absolutely”
Stands up with a deep bow and backs away to the door bowing continuously until out of sight.
Outside Robo grabs his cell: “Dave mate: Hook, line and sinker. They actually believe everything! After reading the hot copper posts I thought we’d be rumbled – but no way! They actually believe my promises and Yeo is contributing a cash grant to – you know - the other account in Switzerland. They don’t have a clue about what we really want – all that phosphate at Mount Weld and yeah, we can sell the Intellectual Property for what we’re offering already! Get ready mate: tee up the demolition guys in Malaysia – we’ll be pulling out. Get the bean counters to go up to $3 per share – I know they said up to $7 but let’s just think about our bonuses!”
….back to reality?
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