Lols, that's 2 for 2 there champ.
Horus:
Born of virgin?
Horus was NOT conceived of a virgin. In fact, mural and textual evidence from Egypt indicates Isis (there is no evidence that “Meri” was ever part of her name) hovered over the erect penis (she created) of Osiris to conceive Horus. While she may have been a virgin before the conception, she utilized Osiris’ penis to conceive. She later had another son with Osiris as well. There is no evidence of three wise men as part of the Horus story at all. Seb was actually the “earth god”
Horus walked on water, healed the sick and restored sight?
Horus certainly performed miracles (he was, after all, described as a god). But there was no mention of exorcizing demons, raising people from the dead or walking on water.
Was crucified?
Horus is not reported to have died at all in the vast majority of Egyptian narratives. There is also no crucifixion story. Instead, Horus is usually described as eventually merging with Re (the Sun god) after which he “dies” and is “reborn” every day as the sun rises. There is a parallel account describing Horus’ death and detailing how he was cast in pieces into the water, later fished out by a crocodile at Isis’ request.
Mithra:
Born of a virgin?
Mithras was actually born out of solid rock, leaving a hole in the side of a mountain (presumably described as a “cave”
. He was not born of a virgin (unless you consider the rock mountain to have been a virgin). His birth was celebrated on December 25th, but the first Christians knew this was not the true date of Christ’s birth anyway, and both Mithraic worshippers and the early Roman Church borrowed this celebration from earlier winter solstice celebrations.
Had 12 disciples?
There is no evidence for any of this in the traditions of Iran or Rome. It is possible the idea Mithras had 12 disciples is simply derived from murals in which Mithras is surrounded by twelve signs and personages of the Zodiac (two of whom are the moon and the sun). Even this imagery is post Christian, and, therefore, did not contribute to the imagery of Christianity (although it could certainly have borrowed from Christianity).
Performed miracles?
Of course this is true, as this too was not uncommon for mythological characters.
Dead for 3 days, resurrected?
There is nothing in the Mithraic tradition indicating he ever even died, let alone resurrected. Tertullian did write about Mithraic believers re-enacting resurrection scenes, but he wrote about this occurring well after New Testament times. Christianity could not, therefore, have borrowed from Mithraic traditions, but the opposite could certainly be true.
Krishna:
Born of a virgin:
Krishna was the 8th son of Vasudeva and Devaki. The name of their first son was Kirtiman. The BP credits the pregnancy to “mental transmission”4 through the mind of Vasudeva into the womb of Devaki. That detail is from a late source (c. 950 AD), does not really represent a virgin birth, since Devaki was not a virgin, and is not present in the earlier accounts of Krishna’s birth in the H (c. 450 AD) and VP (c. 400-500 AD). The names Devaka (used by Christopher Hitchens and the source he plagiarized5) and Yasoda (used by Kersey Graves6) are errors deriving from a basic ignorance of the story.
His father Vasudeva was a nobleman, not a carpenter. Besides, considering the fact that Devaki was a princess, if he was a carpenter, then he would never have been able to marry her.
Resurrected?
Krishna was not killed, He lives eternally, there was no crucifixion.
Dionysus/
Born of a Virgin?
No version of the Dionysus myth attributes his birth to a virgin; rather, he is yet another product of Zeus’s lechery.
Born on Dec 25th?
The Christmas birthday is a somewhat modern invention. There is precedent for a winter solstice birthday, but the main proponent of December 25th is the Zeitgeist documentary. There’s no ancient source asserting Dionysus was born on December 25th. There are vague references to a solstice advent, others assert he was born in spring with the shoots and new leaves on the vine, still others have claimed that it was at the time of the grape harvest that he was born. He is an ancient god and calendars have changed wildly since his first worship, cultures have shifted, civilizations have risen and civilizations have died. To claim any veracity to an assertion that he was definitely born on any date in particular is a bit silly, particularly if you would then tell others they are wrong in their assignations.
Was a travelling teacher?
Not True, he was a God of wine, dance and sexual perversion. He was represented as a god of chaos and the protector of misfits.
Turned water into wine?
Also a lie. he never turned water into wine, he MADE wine and taught mankind to make it too.
etc etc etc.
I'm all for religious humor but a) it has to be , you know, funny. And trotting out long disproved alleged similarities is simply tired and boring at this point. The claims belong more in the religion forum rather than the humour forum.
