A seriously unwell man checked into a hospital emergency to...

A seriously unwell man checked into a hospital emergency to undergo immediate life-saving tests where upon he was bundled into an isolation room waiting for a diagnosis and/or prescribed treatment..
Eventually a very hesitant Dr arrived with several colleagues crowding immediately behind the spokesperson, peeking over the Dr's shoulder and baulking at the entrance door to warily awaken the patient.
"Ahem....... Sir, " said the Doctor.: "My eminent colleagues and I are keeping our distance as we have thoroughly studied and discussed your test results comming to a consensus that you have what we are now going to call 'SHAG' - its a combinatIon of Syphillus, Herpes, Aids and Gonorrhea - appropriatley .....SHAG, is the hole fff'ing package.."
"Ohhhhhh," said the patient. "Doc, please help me,......what are you going to give me for that?"
With his hand stealthily moving the isolation ward door shut, the Doctor replied "Pizza......because its the only bloody thing that we can slide under the door!"