U.S. — Despite a significant majority of the nation now believingPresident Biden mentally unfit for office, the Democratic Party has decided tostay with Biden as its nominee as it would be a huge pain to reprint the tensof thousands of ballots they already filled out.
"On one hand, the nation now knows Biden is incapable ofthinking and is a clear and present danger to himself and the country,"said DNC chair Jaime Harrison. "On the other hand, it would be SUCH a painto have to reprint all those ballots when we already filled them all out. It'sso tedious! Aw, screw it... let's just stick with Biden."
The Democratic Party considered replacing Biden after thePresidential debate revealed his inability to walk or speak, but the amount ofballots already prepared for harvesting dissuaded them. "Obviously, Bidencan't operate a frialator, much less run a country," said White Housechief of staff Jeff Zeints. "To have him continue to be the corpse-likemouthpiece of the Party is nothing short of elder abuse, and everyone knows it.Still, do you know how long it takes to fill out two hundred thousand ballots?Ugh, it is so much work! Forget it."
At publishing time,annoyed Democrats had begun preparing another hundred thousand ballots forharvesting after seeing how bad the post-debate poll numbers looked.
