"the irish prostitute".

An Irish daughter had not been home for over three years.

Upon her return, her father yelled at her, "Where have ye been all this
time?

Why did ye not write to us? Not even a line. Why didn't ye call?

Can ye not understand what ye put yer old Mother thru?"

The girl, crying, replied, Sniff, sniff...."Dad.....I was too embarrassed, I
became a prostitute."

"Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless hussy! Sinner!

You're a disgrace to this Catholic family, so yer are."

"OK, Daddy...as ye wish...I just came back to give Mammy this luxurious fur
coat,

Title deed to a eight bedroom mansion plus a $5 million cheque.

For me little brother Seamus, this gold Rolex.

And for ye Daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible
that's parked outside,

Plus a membership to the Limerick Country Club.

She takes a breath and continues, "and an invitation for ye all to spend New
Years Eve

On board my new yacht in the Caribbean."

"Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says Dad

Girl, crying again, Sniff, sniff...."A prostitute Daddy!" Sniff, sniff.

"Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death girl!

I thought ye said a PROTESTANT.

Come here and give yer old Daddy a big hug."