The OBJ Dictionary.

BadComputer asked me the other day if I had received the OBJ Dictionary. Well lo and behold look what turned up in the mail today.
Here is the OBJ Dictionary. For amusement only. Don't take offense.

Imminent - An undefined period of time between the ending of an OBJ product trial period and the next capital raising.

Magnetic Wand - a smooth device for applying cream so as not to get your finger wet. Some say the magnetism hardens and stimulates finger nail growth. Some say magnetic is a misnomer as no wand has ever been broken open to see if any magnetic film exists.

Soft Launch - The term used when the manufacturer incorrectly produces too few magnetic wands for worldwide distribution.

B&Y - Bake and yank. An induced frenzied time in OBJ's trading were the stock price is artificially increased only to be then reduced dramatically within minutes once a predetermined price has been met.

BOT - a lowly paid human (normally an ex McDonalds employee) held in a darkened room to buy and sell small amounts of OBJ shares for the company's stockbroking house.

Abdm research - an OBJ company tactic to induce shareholder optimism in times of low news and dwindling stock price. Usually occurs in times of imminentness.

P&G - A fictious company promoted by OBJ as the purchaser of all their technology. P&G company fabrication has extended to having it listed on the NYSE and having shown to be worth several billion dollars.

Bodyguard - a device worn by OBJ executive management when answering emails from embittered shareholders. The device is said to reduce inflammation of the index finger when typing on a mobile device.


Further additions welcome.