@Royalsandman I read with sadness in my heart about your current state of mind. I would have like to write earlier but am currently working twelve hours a day as COVID-19 impacts my line of work too. So my apologies for the delay.
It is important to understand what suicide actually means. It is not the desire to actually die. The survival instinct is actually our strongest driver and very difficult to override. Suicidal thoughts are the inability to cope with the mental and physical pain one is experiencing. This is well document by suicide survivors. So if you have these thoughts because you are in extreme financial hardships it is important to try to regulate your emotions. @stockrock, @LearningEachDay and @Wilba32 have provided you with some good strategies, which included physical contact with loved ones, exercise, nature and staying away from what causes stress in the first place. I would also strongly recommend to stay away from alcohol. A proactive step would be talking to someone professional who can help you regulate your stress back to an acceptable level. Stay safe, so that you yourself and your loved ones have the opportunity to experience you as stronger, better and more emphatic person.
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